Feb 26 2009
Love–What is it Really?
Have you noticed how skewed the meaning of the word “love” has become? It’s been coming for a long time. My first memory is of the movie, Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry, or whatever it’s called. My first thought when I heard the title was, What kind of love is that? The truth is we can’t have real love without asking forgiveness when we’ve done someone wrong.
In our day the word “love” means almost nothing. It can be a flash in the pan feeling, warm and fuzzy for a moment, before we get upset and can no longer tolerate the one we said we loved. Or it can be merely lust unleashed, as in a one-night-stand. Obviously that’s not real love.
Let’s get down to it and say what love is not. Love is not doing whatever we please and then apologizing for it, hoping all will be well in the end. We have a whole generation who believes that’s real love. Getting what we want and then saying “sorry,” no matter who we’ve hurt. And what’s worse they have no remorse or plan to change their direction. Scripture says that men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil.
If you’re a believer in Christ, you’ll also find people who expect you to let them get away with anything because you have to forgive them, all in the name of love. Then there are those who merely call themselves Christians and have given true believers a bad name because they do shoddy work or do not pay their bills. What kind of a testimony is that? That’s certainly not real love in action.
Okay, here’s the real deal. Our model for love is Jesus. He told His followers they weren’t true believers unless they were willing to lay down their lives for their friends. Behind that message was an even greater message, that since He laid down His life for us, we will lay down our lives and our own personal agendas in exchange for His. In the process of letting Him change us, we will be transformed, from who we used to be.
He told believers to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Does that mean we’re supposed to be gullible and foolish and let others get away with murder, taking advantage or cheating us? No. But it means that we are to be wise, seeking God’s wisdom on what to do, how to live, and how to handle each situation, and that demands a personal relationship with Christ. It means we are to approach things as those who see past the moment, to the larger picture, where our goal is to please God in our attitudes and actions. Again, it means speaking the truth (God’s Word) in love, and allowing the Holy Spirit do His work.
The world’s definition of love is hogwash, and people these days want to know if the real thing even exists. They’re literally dying to find the answer. Real love holds others accountable for their actions, because that’s the most loving thing to do. Jesus never let anyone get away scot-free in Scripture. They were confronted with their behavior and then offered the opportunity to repent and go another way if they wanted to be true believers. They were told to make things right with those they had cheated. Remember Zaccheus, the tax-collector?
John 14:15 says: “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him. But you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.”
In the end, real love is only found in Jesus. And if you and I are really His, we will do things with integrity, speaking the truth in love, and leave the results to God. In the darkest days ahead, the dazzling light of real agape love will be visible for all the world to see, and it will make all the difference–maybe even changing the world. Will we be light, drawing all men to Christ? May it ever be so.
Because of His great love,
Nancy
