Nov 30 2009
To Forgive or Not to Forgive
Scripture says that in the last days men’s hearts will grow cold. They will lack natural affection for those they should love. If you look around you can see it happening already. Parents killing their children or spouses killing spouses for the insurance money, children killing their elderly parents who are too much of a burden to love anymore.
But what about us? What about Christians? What should we be like in these last days? Scripture says they will know us by our love.
But what happens if the one you love betrays you so that the pain is so enormous that you feel like you want to die? The hurt from such a wound cannot be denied–the pain is gigantic and can fester for years if not submitted to God. And that’s exactly the way the devil wants it. That’s also the way the world responds to injury. The Christian can only be healed as he lets go of the need for revenge and dumps out that hurt, weeping and grieving and praying before the throne until the load is lifted.
Does forgiveness mean giving that person license to sin again? Absolutely not. It means that person will be forgiven but kept accountable so that trust can be restored. For the offender true repentance means turning around to go the other direction, dying to the old sin and being delivered from the chains that have bound us. But it means giving God the chance to change the other person.
What if the pain is so great after such betrayal that you feel you can never trust again? Well, that’s something that must be continuously dumped in God’s lap. Remember, though, that our enemy the devil will keep throwing it in our faces to keep the old pain stirred up and prevent healing. He’ll keep whispering that revenge is sweet and that you’ll never be able to trust that person again. God, however, says otherwise. He can turn around for good what the enemy has meant for harm when we choose to trust Him. He can restore relationships, making them better than new if we let Him.
The thing to remember here is that God says He won’t forgive us if we refuse to forgive others, because it nullifies the work of the cross, essentially slapping God in the face, after His incredible redemptive sacrifice. It means we will no longer be forgiven if we harden our hearts and seek the hurt of the one who hurt us.
God hates betrayal. It’s wrong, and terribly painful and wreaks havoc every time. But the greatest test of all is whether we can choose to let go of our need for revenge to allow God to soften our hearts. The heart that is hard toward a person is also hardening itself against God–a very dangerous and precarious situation, indeed.
Unforgiveness, in the end, is no smaller sin than the original offense in God’s eyes, and it can prevent God from working in us, doing marvelous things He has planned, even short-circuiting our destiny if we let it. Ultimately it will steal our joy and make us the most miserable people on earth, by our own choice.
It’s time to examine our hearts and see if there is unforgiveness holding us back from soaring with God, for He cannot use us if we harbor sin in our lives. In fact, Christmas is the perfect time to let Him give us a heart of flesh for our heart of stone. It’s the perfect time for healing and restoration of relationships. It’s the perfect gift to give the God who has everything…
Because of His great love,
Nancy